tofebruary.com 2011 Back to School Giveaway & Contest

**** I went looking around online shopping and I just found this contest randomly so I just gave it a try. Not expecting a win or anything, but since I’m trying every contest I find… I hope I win though. I would buy notebooks with the $100. I just copied and pasted my entry here from my email sent box before deleting since it’s sort of like a reflection. My writing is so bad though. :

TOPIC: What is a personal struggle you’ve been through (or currently going through), and how has that changed you for the better?

I’m going to be a junior in high school coming September.

Sophomore year, I did really bad. When that year was first starting, I was all motivated to do very well, but somehow it didn’t work out. It actually became my worst year (yet) — I mean in terms of grades. From elementary school to the end of middle school, I just lived as I lived. I didn’t study but I understood everything in class. I was very neat and organized and put effort into my schoolwork even though I didn’t want to do it. I got very good grades even though I didn’t try at all and got into Townsend Harris high school. I didn’t expect getting accepted since the school’s standards are so high but I don’t know how I got accepted. I didn’t think I would fit.

Freshman year, I just lived the same way. The first half of the year, I got good grades and the second half was still decent although it was five points lower. Then came sophomore year. I was being so lazy and I didn’t try at all. In class, I dozed off a lot and didn’t pay full attention. I just completely lost interest and I couldn’t pay attention anymore. It became complicated all of a sudden. The work became harder, longer, and boring especially with the font size in the textbook getting smaller and smaller every page I turn and with very few illustrations. I became very messy and disorganized. In my binder, all subjects were mixed together and shoved in. I just didn’t care anymore since it was so messed up. Even the homework I used to do so diligently from pre-k to freshman year, I started missing. I was completely failing school. My average dropped 20 points in a matter of months.

Then, all the pressure followed. There were my parents, my grandparents with all these high expectations from me and emphasizing the importance of education. Especially since it’s high school where I should be working my hardest, studying day and night, to get into a good college for my future. Also my school isn’t a regular high school. Literally, every single student here works really hard. There’s not a single student who doesn’t complete their homework or cause trouble. Everyone has a 95+ average here and are all over achievers. It’s easy to reach the bottom this way. In other high schools, there’s always at least a few people who fail but since there’s no one like that in my school, it pressured me a lot since I’m the only one not being able to follow. I easily ended up on the very bottom of the ocean.

I failed all my regents and my report card grades were horrible. I wanted to do well. I really did. But I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I love planning things out, but I never follow it. I know what I have to do, I know what I should do, but I don’t know why I keep failing in doing so. I really regret living my sophomore year that way but I’ve learned through it. Something had to happen to change me or else I would never have started studying. I needed to go through that absolute fail to get myself to start. I’ve learned that it takes studying now to follow up and I’ve learned failing is good too. Failing helps you improve yourself and reflect on what you’ve done so you’ll never make that mistake again. Also, you get motivation to do better from now on. Failing changed me for the better.

I’m going to pull myself back together. My goal is to get everything organized by the end of this summer. It’s a slow start for me but I’ve really started this summer. I’m trying to adjust myself to study and make up for everything I failed. I need to work twice and thrice as hard to make up for all the work I missed. I need to retake all my regents, study for the PSATs, SATs, APs, and SAT II subject tests. Failing made me want to work extra hard and even try working on APs and SAT II exams even though those aren’t required. Coming junior year, I will try my best and I will always put all my effort into everything I do. I’m going to love the subjects I’m taking so I can enjoy studying them. I’m going to do everything I do passionately. It’ll be a new beginning for me.

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About siabyul

loves XIA Junsu / designer / photographer

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