The number of blogs I have is increasing again… UGHHH

I deleted a lot of my blogs before because I didn’t like having so many……and finally after years of deciding what to do, I thought it was best to just keep one blog for everything. When I first started making a Korean entertainment/culture website in 2008, when I was younger, I wanted to make a website for other people to visit instead of thinking about myself. That didn’t work out well because first of all, I had to make it “PERFECT” so I needed to plan how to categorize everything and how I should do things..etcetc I just couldn’t decide the ‘perfect’ system for doing that.  Secondly, even though I was posting for other people, at that time I didn’t realize that I should post things that interests me also to keep me going. My updates were slow because updating it actually made me feel like it was work. I want to do it as my hobby and have fun updating it. That was the purpose. Many months later, I decided that I should just make a website for myself, so I can view all the info I post although that seems selfish. I’m making a blog to post the info I need to know and I want to keep. So I was in that kind of mode for a few months. I posted all the clothes, shoppings, beauty, dramas, music, study, personals, food, etc all on this blog, my personal blog. I think it was actually better for me (because it’s much less time consuming and deul bokjaphae to keep track with all the different kinds of blogs I created), but now I feel that I want my this blog only to be about my life. Even though I post shoppings and foods, I want to post things that I made, things that I bought. Posting all these different categories makes my blog too cluttery and messy & on this blog, I just wanna post things by me. Even though I may like a photo someone took and post it, that’s not the original me. I mean like I collect all the clothing pictures from Korean websites. That’s my hobby because I like looking at designs, but on this blog I don’t think I want that anymore. It’s someone else’s work and if I’m just collecting it on my personal blog, I don’t really like that. Even though I post some items I like, from now on I think I’ll just post a few pictures and just write my opinions about it. Not that whole photoshoot because I like it without any of my comments. I used to just post the whole photoshoot to keep it with me. Also the music I started to post here. I realized if I’m posting all this music anyways, it would be better to share it with the world. Help promote the music, and create a website for other people who want to listen. So I’ve decided to make this blog, siabyul.wordpress.com just for my personal thoughts, my life, me. Eww this is so weird. LOL if someone reads this, it’s gonna be so awkward, omg. That’s why when I first started blogging, I kept it private since I didn’t want anyone else to actually read it. But look at all those other people with blogs. Most of them are just open publicly. I don’t care anymore. Whatever, I never actually gave my blog address to anyone so no one will know anyways, but again, that’s really creepy. My blog is still under the “do not publicize” status. It’s not searchable on google or on those other search engines, & I never told anyone about my blog so how do I have over 20000 visits. Creeeeeeeepy. But I don’t care. Actually, not I feel like I want more visits. I need my million visitors :) LOL

So anyways, what I’m talking about is, this blog is officially just my “PERSONAL PERSONAL BLOG” from now on. And I’ve decided to run other websites in all different categories. I already have 3 of them up and running. I’m really gonna try working on them. I like making websites. (; Also, I just visited Judy’s study website. Hahaa she’s such a good asian as someone else left in her guestbook. LOLL sharing knowledge to the world. I thought of making of study website that helps me and others too a couple of years ago too. I actually opened it, but then I never updated, so I just decided to close it. But I got inspired by Judy again. This time it would have more meaning to me because of my all my failures. This sophomore year was I think the biggest fail in my life (academically speaking). Actually I failed in everything, and I am failing in everything right now. I can’t even manage my weight, that’s why my stomach is bulging my cheeks are chubby and my thighs are thunderous. I need to eat more healthily stop eating cookies stop spending so much time online looking at designs all day long. I have such a designer’s heart though. I can’t stop even though I have to sleep. I’m going to control myself from now on though. Back on my topic of the study website thinggg, I want to create another study website again. This time, it will be updated often, constanly, frequently, daily. It will be for me and others too. Because of all my failures, it will be very meaningful for me and it would help me get back on track (academically at least). For school. For education? Yeahh, for that. I just thought of a name for my new website. Since I do not wanna fail anymore, I want to improve myself, so it will be ” iwillnotfailanymore.com ” but since that’s too long, I’m gonna make it IWNFA.com & since I’m making it on wordpress and not willing to pay for a domain name, I will use my lovely wordpress’s subdomain. iwnfa.wordpress.com. That looks mad weird. IWNFA. LOLLL eesanghae! but I think that is a meaningful name at least, and it’s not that bad. It’s short, sweet, and simple. and it’s SPECIAL. Hahahha so, right now I have 3 days left till my apworld exam. I AM SO SCReWED. OHSHIEEEEEEEEEEET! -______- I had that class since freshman year. I was being such a loser and not studying at all. I’m seirous; I don’t know anything at all except Akbar was hightly tolerant of religions and that Montezuma was the rule of the Aztec empire or something like tahht. That test cost like $90 and I’m so not ready. I should get a 5, but I think I’ll get a 1 at this point.

I’ve decided. eunjaebuttuhjalhagirohaesseubnida. :) JUNIOR YEAR. it’s the most important year too raight?  It’s not too late to start to do better. This sophomore year, I failed/failing every subject. Latin, Spanish, Apworld, AlgebraII/Trig, Chem(justabovefailing), and I’m sort of passing English. I remember when English used to be my lowest average subjects, but ironically, English is my best subject now. Math I’m failing the most, next Latin, and then Spanish Apworld, etccc. Japanese is my elective right now and that’s my best average there, but it was a bad choice to pick it. I’m not that interested and I don’t really want to learn it. I won’t be using the language either and although I wouldn’t say I wasted a year on this class because I did have a touch of the language. I can read hiragana, write, I know katakana, I know how to write watashi in Kanji, but it was sort of a waste. I could have learned something else that I’m actually interested in and that I can use in the future.

I have a lot of things to catch up on this summer. Summer, the past summers I just played all day. Do nothing days, stay home and roll around days, I seriously did nothing. This summer is going to be so productive. I need to catch up on a lot of things since this sophomore year I learned nothing. So while making my IWNFA.WORDPRESS.COM website, I will get things organized. Summer is 2 months away. I used to think 2months was a long period of time, but it really isn’t. I’ll start writing down my summer plans and goals right now.

1) organizeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (that is the most important thing ever)
– this includes computer files, school notes, room, my schedule, etc. so much things to oragnize :( cryy

2) lose some weight, I don’t like how my body is right now. I want to lose about 10-15 pounds slowly steadily while eliminating junk foods. eating more lettuce<3

3) 11twenty (update all those items and ship them away)

4) study for PSATs and all those other studyings I have to do. There’s so much. OMG

5) community service. (I really wish I can fill in 400 hours somehow. Right now I have 182 logged in my thhs..)

6) sleep well. a nice 8-10 hours daily. I’m so sleep deprived it’s not even funny. I need to get my sleep schedule straight. It’s so messed up. I want to sleep before 11 and wake up around 6-7 and I have to learn to keep it that way.

7) Take care of my skin well. I have so much breakouts pimples red things. Ewww. but I love facial packs. It’s just fun to put on :) so I’ll do some of thooose.

8) Get my blogs running~

9) Some other small goals like writing the bible everyday again, uploading youtube videos playing piano, reading more, learning how to do nail art, cook some things, going to MoMA and other art museums, artartartdesign, and other little things.

10) Be happy with the way I live.

This is so confusing. I need to get a real schedule that works for my summer plans.

And now I will be off trying to set up iwnfa.wordpress.com.

Ohhh, another thing. I’ve been watching God of Study these days. I’m in the middle of episode 15 right now. It is quite boring for me, but it was a little inspiring. How they worked so hard, studying until the AMs, and improving so much.  They inspired me to study like them. Not as intense like them but to start studying. I need to get myself to study. I never do but while making iwnfa, I think it would help me a lot.

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About siabyul

loves XIA Junsu / designer / photographer

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